Imagine you stumble upon a friend at the grocery store and the two of you start chatting. Assume that you’re both neurotypicals. Next, think about some of the elements that might go into having a smooth, successful interaction with your friend.
When two people run into each other, they typically say things like, “hello,” “good morning,” or “it’s great to see you.”
The two of you might smile and raise your eyebrows, expressing surprise at your fortuitous encounter. You might get closer, so you can hear each other better, but keep a socially appropriate distance for the conversation. You will probably make eye contact, and your facial expressions and gestures will match the topic of your conversation.
If the grocery store is noisy, you might speak loudly enough so you can hear each other. Your tone will be influenced by the conversation topic, and the speed of your sentences will be appropriate—not too slow (you’re both running errands after all!) and not too fast (you want to be able to understand each other’s words).
One of you might introduce a relevant topic (“How is your Aunt Sally doing after her surgery?). You will likely take turns listening and speaking. You will keep the conversation to a convenient length and transition smoothly into its conclusion, maybe promising to catch up later.
As someone who can take the perspective of another person, you might think, “My friend must be worried about her aunt after last week’s surgery.” You will listen to your friend’s comments and match her emotions during the conversation.
When two people run into each other, they typically say things like, “hello,” “good morning,” or “it’s great to see you.”
The two of you might smile and raise your eyebrows, expressing surprise at your fortuitous encounter. You might get closer, so you can hear each other better, but keep a socially appropriate distance for the conversation. You will probably make eye contact, and your facial expressions and gestures will match the topic of your conversation.
If the grocery store is noisy, you might speak loudly enough so you can hear each other. Your tone will be influenced by the conversation topic, and the speed of your sentences will be appropriate—not too slow (you’re both running errands after all!) and not too fast (you want to be able to understand each other’s words).
One of you might introduce a relevant topic (“How is your Aunt Sally doing after her surgery?). You will likely take turns listening and speaking. You will keep the conversation to a convenient length and transition smoothly into its conclusion, maybe promising to catch up later.
As someone who can take the perspective of another person, you might think, “My friend must be worried about her aunt after last week’s surgery.” You will listen to your friend’s comments and match her emotions during the conversation.
These are just a few of the things our brains must do when we’re communicating with others—and this list is by no means exhaustive. Many neurodiverse people, however, have difficulties using verbal and nonverbal language for social purposes. The term used for this neurological variation is social communication disorder (SCD).
Social communication is a multifaceted phenomenon that includes:
It is heavily influenced by cultural factors, so its rules can vary drastically among social groups, regions, and countries. These same rules are often reflective of the majority—or neurotypical—perspective, so it shouldn’t come as a shock that many neurodiverse individuals struggle with social communication.
Put simply, people with SCD have a hard time communicating in ways that are appropriate for particular social contexts. They might say the “wrong” thing or act in unusual ways because they don’t always understand the implicit rules of social communication. They often miss contextual clues, such as someone’s gestures and facial expressions, and might not understand language that is not literal, unambiguous, or direct.
Every individual with SCD is unique, and the condition manifests itself in different ways. Sometimes a person displays just a few, subtle symptoms—you might not even realize that he struggles with social communication. Other times, it could become clear early on that someone processes social communication very differently from you. Below, you will find some tell-tale signs:
Neurotypicals subconsciously know the “rules” of social communication and might get thrown off when someone with SCD inadvertently breaks them. We might unfairly assume the person is being rude or inconsiderate. We might even think he or she isn’t intellectually capable of understanding what we’re telling them—which often isn’t the case.
To have a successful interaction with people with SCD, keep in mind that they have a different way of processing verbal and nonverbal communication. Their difference doesn’t mean they are not capable of communicating effectively or understanding what you want to tell them. You might just need to adapt your language and try your best to view the situation from their perspective— much like neurodiverse individuals do when interacting with neurotypicals.
Researchers believe that there might be a genetic component to SCD. Some of the risk factors include:
(Note: Autism shares several SCD traits but is its own separate diagnosis.)
A little flexibility goes a long way when communicating with people with SCD. At times, your interactions might look and sound a little different than the ones you have with neurotypicals, but don’t let that deter you. You can still have a rich, meaningful conversation despite the initial communication barriers. Here are some tips to make the process easier:
Conclusion
Many neurodiverse individuals spend a lot of time and effort trying to understand the rules that govern social communication between neurotypicals. Often, these individuals struggle to override their instincts and express themselves in ways that neurotypicals might find “acceptable.” But we, neurotypicals, can also do our part to facilitate our social interactions with the neurodiverse. All it takes is flexibility—and some tweaks in the way we communicate.